


The Alley Chat

by orphan_account



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, Gen, ezra is trying his best, marinette and adrien are happily married, ocs for daysss my dudes, they've got domestic bliss on lock, um
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-18 13:37:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13101297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The year is 203X. A new generation of superheroes have risen to defeat evil in Paris. Namely, Ezra Agreste, high school student, sass master, and by night, the new Chat Noir. Together, Chat Noir, and the new Ladybug, Coccinelle, must work against all odds to defeat the forces of evil. And high school.And maybe even an unlikely antihero with a penchant for stealing jewelry from strangers too.





	1. The New Chat in Town, 203X

**The End, 201X**

 

Reporters swarm the whole group, ignoring how exhausted they look. But despite the obvious weariness that hangs over them all, there’s an equally obvious zeal about them, because in Ladybug’s gloved hand lies the miraculous that gave the villain Hawk Moth his power.

It’s insurmountably odd to be just holding it in her hand, such a tiny thing that has caused so much horrible destruction and danger over the years. Marrinette looks around to everyone getting individually preyed upon by reporters, with her eyes lingering on Chat Noir for a breath. The revelation of Hawk Moth’s true identity was a shock to everyone, but something about Chat Noir’s reaction…

Trailing her eyes to the rest of the group, she can tell even from where she stands that there’s been a weight lifted off everyone’s shoulders. But Chat… Marinette’s just not sure what to—

“Ladybug?”

She snaps out of her reverie, “Huh? What?”

The reporter speaks with exuberance, “I was asking, what’s next now that Hawk Moth is finally defeated?”

The question should throw her for a loop. She’s already distracted by Chat and his odd state of being as well as having pretty much every miraculous in one place at one time. But as she stands in the middle of the street on a Saturday night, her mind wanders back to the bakery, her parents, a warm bed waiting for her. Home. Marrinette’s simply so exhausted that she only has one answer.

“I’m gonna go home and have a peaceful day for once.” The words spill out of her mouth.

Her voice lacks its usual Ladybug chutzpah, replaced with a placid tone, and the reporter laughs genuinely before working out the next five questions she was going to shoot at Marinette.

Ladybug’s miraculous ticks down to the last spot. That all too familiar beep rings across her along with all the miraculouses from the team gathered in the street. At once they all bid their interviewers ado, and do the same for each other before leaping, climbing, and swinging their separate ways to deactivate in seclusion for hopefully the last time.

* * *

 

**The New Chat in Town, 203X**

 

It’s raining.

It’s raining, and I don’t have my umbrella and the inside of my shoes are starting to get wet and, yeah, this day is just looking to be honest to goodness awful. I forgot half of my textbooks at home (again), left the house with my phone on twelve percent (again), and completely botched my literature presentation. I feel horrible for my partner, I could literally feel her cringing as I stuttered my way through the material I forgot my notecards for.

I’m standing at the corner of the crosswalk, waiting for the light to turn so I could cross the street. Just three blocks away from sweet, sweet relief. My shoes squish unpleasantly as I shift my weight from one foot to the other. Rain pelts my back and I’m just begging the light to change so I can just get home and maybe have an afternoon to self-indulgently sulk in my horrible luck. Take a nice hot shower and get some dry clothes on and play some melancholy tunes from my speaker to match the dreary weather. A nice, quiet afternoon to just chill out for once.

The light changes. At the prospect of the little afternoon of nothing I’ve planned for myself, there’s the slightest spring in my step. Because, hey, it’s a Thursday too, so even though the rest of the day has been pretty trash, Mom took the day off from designing and that means she definitely baked something amazing for dessert. I mentally add “Amazing Dessert” to the list of impending blessings that could turn this day around.

I’m only two blocks away from home now, jogging lightly through the rain, trying my best to stay under the cover storefront awnings provide as I go.

And then a scream pierces through the air.

Followed by the characteristic screech of a car crash.

And then an explosion.

And with my luck, hell, would you look at that, I think that’s definitely a giant spider scuttling through the Paris streets in the opposite direction of my home.

“Welp. I guess that’s my cue.”

“You think?” Plagg peeks out of my bag with a deadpan scowl as I duck into a nearby alley, unnoticed by the screaming pedestrians nearby.

“Alright Plagg, claws out!”

  
:::

  
As I leap across rooftops towards the spider, I lose awareness of my soggy shoes or the possibility of a nice, quiet afternoon. My senses are all focused in on the task on hand, adrenaline and good ol’ miraculous magic letting my prior woes take backseat. The spider that’s terrorizing the streets of Paris is screeching something about people fearing him, which is kinda unnecessary given that he looks like something straight out of a horror movie with a huge CGI budget.

“I am SpiderBite!! Everyone must fear my glorious arachnid power!!”

“Classy,” I mutter under my breath.

I drop from the last rooftop onto the street and see that Coccinelle is MIA. Which is pretty reasonable, given I was only a few blocks away from this guy. Guess I’m gonna have to hold him off until she shows up.

From a distance I thought SpiderBite was pretty slow, but he actually has a surprising amount of dexterity with his individual legs. While the pouring rain is slowing me down, it doesn't seem to have much effect on this guy's speed, unfortunately for me. I lithely dip away from, one, two, three jabs of his front legs by the skin of my teeth. I hardly have a moment to think of where this guy’s akuma is hiding when I’m busy avoiding being skewered.

Getting off the street is the first priority. This guy is fast, but there’s not enough room for his huge body up on the Paris rooftops. I roll away from another jab of his legs and quickly scale the side of a building closest to me. SpiderBite tries to follow and almost makes it up the side before his huge body makes it impossible to stand on the roof. I’m breathing heavilly up on top of a bookstore as SpiderBite tries swiping at me in vain for the moment being. I don’t doubt that if I stay up here too long he’ll figure out some obscure ability he can use to follow me, but I take me blessings as they come.

“Chat!!”

Speaking of blessings.

“Coccinelle!”

Coccinelle swings up from behind me and lands in a crouch on the roof. Her wavy chestnut hair is weighed down with rain water and falls into her face. Brown eyes look me up and down confirming that I hadn’t gotten myself stupidly injured before she got there. Coccinelle follows my train of sight and peers down at SpiderBite before making a sound halfway between a squeal and a hiss.

“Aghhh, gross, gross, gross. Why does it have to be spiders?”

I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve seen Coccinelle honestly scared of an akuma’s appearance beyond the usual oh-god-this-person’s-turned-into-a-literal-monster. Once this is all over I’ll probably mention the irony of her being a bug who’s scared of bugs. But for now, it looks like I have to do some damage control before things get dicey.

“Look, C.C, it’s cool. He’s just an akuma like all the others we’ve faced. We’ll take care of this guy quick.”

She gives me a thankful look and opens her mouth to offer back some reply, but SpiderBite’s apparently gotten tired of us jabbering. Thick gobs of spider’s silk are shot straight at us and the we dodge in the nick of time.

“Well, that’s definitely not good.” I quip. SpiderBite’s making a huge web across the roof tops at lightning speed.

“Where’s this guy’s akuma?” There’s a slight edge of panic in her voice and she’s trying her best to properly observe SpiderBite while thoroughly freaked the hell out.

I look Spiderbite up and down. Most of him is giant spider, but a human-esque torso juts out of the huge spider body. The webs are being shot out from one of his wrists rather than his spider body.

“Probably his wrist shooter thing.”

“The gauntlet.” Coccinelle clarifies without thinking.

“Yup. So,” I think for a moment, “I’ll keep his spider bits distracted, you go for the gauntlet.”

In one horrifying leap, SpiderBite is off the street and onto his web he created, spanning at least a whole block. The rain hits his body loudly and drips onto the street below with huge splashes, and honestly, I’m a little freaked out by this guy too. Coccinelle muffles a scream with her fist and I have to give her credit for standing her ground.

“Alright,” Coccinelle pinches her eyes shut and takes a huge breath, “We got this.”

“I’ve got you now!!” SpiderBite hisses as he rushes towards us.

“We totally got this,” I confirm.

We jump into action, with confidence in each other compensating any doubts we have in ourselves.

 

:::

 

Turns out, SpiderBite was a cosplayer. I was honestly confused as hell trying to put together what kind of person would be carrying around a spider themed gauntlet that shot out imitation silk before even being akumatized, but in hindsight it makes sense. There’s a convention going on just outside the city and I vaguely remember Michael and Jessie talking about going. I declined since there’s been a slight upsurge in akuma attacks lately. Even setting aside schoolwork, my parents would get suspicious if I keep on disappearing with nothing to show for it. 

“Eughh. Never dealing with spiders again.” Coccinelle has her shoulders hunched against the slight drizzle and the lingering repulsion over our latest foe. There weren’t many reporters out due to the light rain that refused to waver.

“I could live with that,” I agree. The two of us stand on the street where we watch the poor guy who was akumatised into SpiderBite get taken into custody to recover from the whole ordeal. Our miraculouses haven’t beeped yet, but it’s only a matter of time.

Coccinelle won’t meet my eyes as she speaks up meekly, “So...you’re not gonna make fun of me? For the spider thing?”

I turn my head over to her in surprise. Sure, the whole thing was awfully ironic, but I couldn’t dream of poking fun at something she’s so upset about.

“Nah. ‘Course not. Everyone’s scared of something. Plus, counting all the times you’ve bailed me out from even stupider stuff? C’mon, C.C.”

“More stupid,” she corrects, just like I knew she would. There’s the barest trace of a smile on her lips and deep pink blush across her cheeks as she turns her face up towards me. I give her a wide smile in return.

Cocinelle laughs nervously and somehow her face turns an even deeper shade of pink, “L-listen, Chat—"

She’s cut off by the sound of her miraculous warning her the transformation’s running out. Mine follows half a beat later.

“Shoot, we’re all out of time. I guess this is just gonna have to wait until next time. Bye-bye, C.C!”

Coccinelle hardly makes a move to leave before letting out a frustrated sigh and complying, “Later, Chat!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao. ezra's A Good Boy. more to come probably tomorrow. or maybe even later tonight :))


	2. Plagg the Love Guru

**Plagg the Love Guru**

 

“I’m home!!” I call out into the house as I shut the door behind me. My clothes are all soaked, and I drip rainwater into the house kinda pathetically. Coupled with the exhaustion of dealing with another akuma this week, I’m adding an early bedtime onto my plan for the rest of my night.

“Ezra!! I’m so glad you’re safe.” My mom hurries to smoosh me in a hug, followed swiftly by my dad. Neither of them mention the fact that I’m soaked and dripping water in a trail.

I’m pulled out of the impromptu group hug by my dad who continues to hold me by the shoulders, “You were caught in the thick of that SpiderBite attack weren’t you?”

My dad is a fairly tall man with a refined peacefulness about him. I think he’d look kind of intimidating if it weren’t for the smile lines and the constant twinkle in his eyes, like he knows something the rest of us don’t. Apparently when he was younger he was a wicked famous model, which is insurmountably weird to me. Sometimes for kicks, my mom pulls out old magazine clippings from when he was still in the business. Though I know for a fact that the random perfume ads and runway pictures were him, I can’t quite seem to match the polished model on those pages with my happy-go-lucky dad.

“Yeah,” I sigh, “Right on my way home, too.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re safe. Coccinelle and Chat Noir took care of things just fine.” My mom nods with confidence, her straight black hair bobbing with the motion. She reaches out and runs her hands smoothing down my wet hair. There’s a me-shaped splotch of water on her blouse from the hug. I feel a little bad, but she doesn’t seem to mind.

“Damn right, they did. That guy didn’t stand a chance.” And I know that overly hyping up Chat Noir isn’t all that prudent with me protecting my identity. But every time the opportunity arises for Ezra to share his opinion on the super duo, I just can’t help myself.

My dad’s green eyes fix me with one of his looks paired with a smirk, “Of course he didn’t. And keep the language PG, Ezra. Just because you get front row seat to a monster attack doesn’t mean you have to start speaking like one.”

I roll my eyes harmlessly, “Dad, that hardly even makes sense. Spiders don’t swear.”

He ruffles my hair that my mom had just smoothed down, “Well, neither should you.”

The sound of the oven ringing fills the living room. My mom ducks away towards the kitchen for a moment.

“Dinner’s gonna be ready in twenty minutes,” she calls out behind her.

“Alright, mom!” I call out as my dad does the same. I start to head upstairs.

“Ezra.” My dad speaks up again once I’m halfway up the stairs.

“Yeah?” I call back down.

He pauses for a moment, “I’m very proud of you.”

My forehead wrinkles in confusion, “Wait, for what?”

My dad laughs earnestly, “Nothing in particular. I’m just glad you got home ok.”

“Thanks, Dad,” I can’t help my brightened smile or the renewed vigor in my step.

When I get into my room, the first thing I do is open up my bag and let Plagg out. He got wet in the rain too, and he looks kinda pissed off.

“I swear, next time you forget to check the weather and I end up soaked, I’m quitting.”

“Ah, don’t be like that, Plagg,” I look around my room a hand towel to give him to dry off and a nicely sized cube of cheese for his troubles. He takes both without thanks, but his mood is obviously improved. Plagg sluggishly dries himself off as I continue to drip water.

“Nice job dealing with the akuma today, kid. Coccinelle’s usually the one carrying this team on her back.” Though the first bit of his statement if genuine enough, I can tell he’s hardly serious with the tail end of it. Just busting my balls, as usual.

I frown anyways, “I carry my weight just fine, Plagg. Plus, it’s just teamwork.”

“Yeah, yeah. Good job anyways. Take a shower Ezra, it smells like wet cat in here.”

“That’s you, Plagg.”

He only scoffs in reply.

The rest of the evening drifts by at a nice, leisurely pace. Dinner is great, and dessert is just amazing. My mom’s lemon bars are heaven on earth, the recipe passed down from my grandparents. After getting on a pair of sweatpants and an old tee shirt still warm out of the dryer, I have to say that this crappy day has been salvaged.

I’m sitting at my desk absently working on some literature homework with a Bluetooth speaker playing quiet music. My phone sporadically buzzes with texts from the group chat with my two best friends, Michael, Jessie. I look at my phone’s notifications to see three messages from Michael.

> **Michael** : ezra, dude, did you see that mosnter attack today??  
>  **Michael** : *monster lol  
>  **Michael** : it was by your house, right??

I wasn’t planning on telling anyone I was there during the attack, but I guess there’s no getting around that valid point.

> **Ezra** : Yeah, I was there. It was insane!! Coccinelle and Chat Noir kicked that spider’s ass though  
>  **Jessie** : omg ezra!!!!!!!  
>  **Jessie** : youre ok right??  
>  **Jessie** : wait thats a stupid question. if coccinelle and chat noir were there of course youre ok  
>  **Jessie** : did you get any pictures of them this time!!!???

My phone just won’t stop buzzing from Jessie’s chain texts. I have to think for a moment. This isn’t the first time “Ezra” has been caught in the middle of a akuma attack. It’s just always coincidentally been that Ezra can never get any decent pictures of the action.

> **Ezra** : Aghhhh, no. My phone was dead.  
>  **Jessie** : damn :((((  
>  **Ezra** : :((( Cut me some slack, Jessie. I was out there trying to get home in peace after a long, long day of taking the L.  
>  **Ezra** : And then this spider a-hole shows up to further ruin my day. Like c’mon. I honestly don’t deserve this crap.  
>  **Michael** : damn lmao. talk about kickin a guy while he’s down.  
>  **Jessie** : pfffhahaha ezraaa you are too much  
>  **Jessie** : ok but guys  
>  **Jessie** : have you seen the trailer for the new horror movie that opens next week?  
>  **Jessie** : the one with the sharks and the chainsaws??

And once again, Jessie’s scattered train of thought saves me from having to finesse my way through another Chat Noir conversation. Luckily, neither of my best friends are particularly obsessed with the superheroes. But it’s sure as hell difficult to find things other than Coccinelle and Chat Noir to talk about when there’s monster attacks pretty much every few days.

I stop replying to them gushing about the horror movie. I see one more unread text from my math tutor though.

> **Kayla** : Hey, Ezra!! Just a reminder to bring last weeks quiz with you to our session tomorrow. We can go over that with the homework too.

I stare at the message for much longer than it warrants before typing out my reply. 

> **Ezra** : Sure thing, Kay :)

For an awful thirty seconds, I wonder whether the smiley was too much before jabbing my finger onto my screen and sending the text. Damn it.

In all honesty, I’m not too horrible at math. It’s definitely my weakest subject, but my grades are still decent. But when I heard about the student tutoring going on at my school and that Kayla Precist was the tutor for my specific course level, well… I mean, it definitely wasn’t going to hurt right? And the tutors get community service hours for some math honor society or whatever.

Since I kinda mostly know what I’m doing I’m making her job easier too. Right?

The very first week Jessie and Michael found out about my new tutor, they knew exactly what was going on. I had to promise Michael that, no, of course I haven’t been purposely sucking at math to get closer to her and to Jessie that by the end of the semester, yes, I’d at least get her number.

And I mean, I succeeded in both those goals. But scrolling through the weeks worth of texts with little more intimacy than the occasional smiley face is a little disheartening.

I scroll back to our most recent messages and think about asking her what she’s doing after my tutoring tomorrow. That maybe we could go and get some pizza afterwards. No, that seems to casual. Or coffee maybe? I know I hate coffee, but I could easily see her sitting in a quaint little café with a cappuccino in her hands and her hair falling in loose waves over her shoulders and a smile gracing her lips and those thick red frames she always wears falling down her nose and the sun shining through the window warm against her light brown skin that’s dusted with freckles and—

“Oh, dammit.” I press the heels of my palms into my eyes in an attempt to rid myself of the daydream.

Plagg looks up from his spot on your bed, “What happened?”

“Nothing,” I groan, “Absolutely nothing.”

He’s silent for a moment (a rare occurrence) and I speak out in frustration, “I’m really grasping for straws here, Plagg.”

“This is about the math girl isn’t it?”

I wipe my hands down my face and push my rolling chair away from my desk into the middle of the room.

“You’ve been around a while. You must know something about this kinda stuff.”

“Well first off, she isn’t doing you any favors as a tutor. You can’t even remember your own name when she’s around.”

I frown, “Stop exaggerating. I’m able to learn a lot from Kayla, she’s a great teacher.”

“Yes, yes I know. Kayla Precist is perfection incarnate and the very ground she walks upon is hallowed. We both are very aware of that.” My kwarmi’s voice drips with sarcasm.

“Plagg, do you have any real advice?”

Plagg flies idly up to my face, which is currently trained onto the ceiling. “If you don’t stop thinking of her like some goddess on earth you’re never gonna be able to talk to her. She’s just a girl for goodness sake. A pretty average one at that.”

I stay silent for a moment, mulling over his words before providing my own eloquent response, “She’s not average.”

Plagg rolls his eyes and mutters what sounds like his last contribution to this conversation, “You’re the Chat Noir, Ezra. Setting aside the fact that you’re literally that guy, you team up with Coccinelle regularly. She’s the closest thing to a goddess you’re gonna get around Paris. But it’s the uptight math girl you can’t talk to without stuttering every other word. Kinda ridiculous if you ask me.”

“Yeah, I know, that’s what’s so damn frustrating about this whole,” I trail off in thought for a moment, “Wait. Are you saying I should try talking to her as Chat Noir?”

Plagg turns a glare towards me. “Absolutely not. Kid, There isn’t enough cheese in the world to bribe me to agree to that.”

“Jeez. Sorry I asked then. So, I should just try and…channel my inner Chat Noir?”

Plagg’s obviously been done with this conversation since about three minutes ago, “You do whatever you gotta do to make it work, kid. Just leave me out of it.”

I hum in reply. There’s a minute of silence that I spend spinning my chair around in the middle of the room.

“Plagg?”

“What’s your bright idea this time?”

“Thanks.”

Plagg mutters to himself, “I don’t get enough cheese for this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Marinette and Adrien love each other so much. They are so happy to be married and are in domestic bliss it’s wonderful they’re wonderful. Aaaand again. Ezra's just trying his best.


End file.
